No girls, no appointments, no shag! This day was turning out to be shit so far. So I popped out for a bit of lunch and hey presto I see a girl who'd I'd previously interviewed, so I approached her and...

So I get a phone call, which is the sort of call I tend to dread getting. It's a previous girl I've interviewed wondering why all the fucking work I promised her hasn't materialised. So I had to think..

You never quite know how an interview is going to pan out. Is she going to tell me to fuck off, walk out, or stay? If they do stay, are they going to be shy, a dark horse or down right filthy. Well...

When your desperate for a bit of cash, you'll just about do anything... Take a look at this bird, Yasmina for instance. She came to me looking to earn a bit on the side doing modelling work. Well...

What is it with petite girls and wanting to do catwalk modelling? Bilbo Baggins is taller than the chick I had on my couch earlier. So I told her... NO. No fucking chance. Now this bird is sporting a...

I love a girl with tattoos and Stacey has got them all over her gorgeous slim body. Fucking beautiful. Work of art. Like with all the girls that come to my door, money is the driving force, and I offer a big fat wad of it. But like I say, offer it, sell it, but never, rarely give it, apart from that one time with a smoking hot blonde girl I paid... Well, anyway, back to Stacey. What a figure, she's tall, slim, dark haired and has a fantastic set of tits, not to mention a paper slit of a pussy and of course some very cool tatts running over her beautiful tanned body. Now good old Stacey was a bit apprehensive about taking her clothes off and strumming her pussy on camera but as usual I talked her around. Fuck, with this silver tongue I'd talk Sir Alan Sugar into giving me a job. Not just as an apprentice, a real fucking job. So, after I get her all warmed up with some self masturbation, I told her the next step was getting those big blow job lips around my shaft... Needless to say the silver tongue had to come out again to win her around and it wasn't long before I was balls deep in her throat. It wasn't long before the urge to get into her tight little pussy took over and the general was off. But this time I thought I'd put the sofa to the test, so I placed Stacey on the arm of the chair and fucked her madly until she nearly fell off. After a few more armchair antics I got her to do a bit of work on top.

You know what, it's always the apprehensive girls that always turn out to be the real dark horses. I mean out of this world shags. Lucy was no exception, she came to me for catalogue modelling but...

Never trust a woman or your local council, they always fuck things up. Today, my local council decided to dig up the road outside my fucking office. My morning appointment couldn't find the place due...

In life there are good and bad surprises... Like your wife cheating on you... Bad surprise. Winning the lotto... Good surprise. Well my next interviewee named Satine was certainly a good surprise...

You know I hate it when chicks are late to an interview and this one is giving me the right hump. So I tell her on the dog n' bone... I'm not interested in your bullshit excuses, you better get here...

It's a sunny day and my local garage didn't overcharge me for sorting my motor, how could it get any better? Well I'll tell you how, in one word... Brooklyn. When you talk to a bird on the blower you...

Well, I tell you what, if I was on a sinking ship I know who'd Id want to be sitting next to... Jordan my next conquest. Oh my God, what a pair of tit's, you could model spacehoppers around those..